Today I attended a funeral at Cathedral Church of the Advent. The loss that this family suffered was both unexpected and tragic. We grieve with them in their loss. In such times, one seeks the right words. Are there right words? Yes, and I believe that Frank Limehouse, Dean of the Cathedral, found them.

He read from John chapter 11 and the story of the resurrection of Lazarus. In that story, Lazarus dies and his sisters, Mary and Martha, come to Jesus and say, "If only you had been here, you could have saved him." Jesus tells them that their brother will rise again and then, to their astonishment, he raises him from the dead.

Commenting on the story, Frank said that we, like Mary and Martha, are often inclined to say to ourselves "if only" when we reflect on a personal tragedy. "If only I had said this or that; if only I had known; if only I had been there; if only ..." Our if onlys can haunt us for the rest of our lives. But when Mary and Martha said "if only" to Jesus, "he did not attempt to untangle the past," said Reverend Limehouse. "He instead offered them a promise: 'Your brother will rise again.'" And then Frank concluded, "I encourage you to give all of your if onlys to God."

In these words, Frank Limehouse gave something meaningful to those who have suffered great loss. No, it will not change the past. It will not remove the pain and sorrow. But it does give them the hope and the promise of the Gospel. And that is no small thing.